those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
