I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
