Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
