2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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