Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wish they made helmets for livers.

Fav 12 5989 1146
share tweet
(416): View more from Ontario

don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends

Fav 16 4154 1380
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.

Fav 20 1772 7420
share tweet
(785): View more from Kansas

I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.

Fav 8 3975 1228
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever

Fav 7 2306 956
share tweet
(847): View more from Illinois

I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.

Fav 2 2380 1866
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"

Fav 8 4076 780
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"

Fav 2 647 608
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?

Fav 4 14 48
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT