from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!