Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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  (412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8
  Replies (82) Good night (2958) Bad night (685)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  omg every time its on

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  (203): have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj (1-203): omg every time its on http://tfl.nu/6fsg
  Replies (25) Good night (3216) Bad night (1185)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.

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  (843): I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again. http://tfl.nu/1qgn
  Replies (76) Good night (22231) Bad night (1663)
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  (607): View more from New York

  We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

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  (607): We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre. http://tfl.nu/5g13
  Replies (10) Good night (3084) Bad night (1150)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?

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  (954): Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart? http://tfl.nu/oywi
  Replies (8) Good night (3879) Bad night (1027)
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  (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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  (925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u
  Replies (5) Good night (818) Bad night (1944)
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  (081): View more from

  KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!

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  (081): KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP! http://tfl.nu/zqfd
  Replies (14) Good night (827) Bad night (1398)
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  (949): View more from California

  he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.

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  (949): he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/m9y7
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (863)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

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  (44): All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet http://tfl.nu/lx51
  Replies (3) Good night (860) Bad night (1668)
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  (845): View more from New York

  There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets

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  (845): There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets http://tfl.nu/ibjg
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (441)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?

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  (206): sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches? http://tfl.nu/kl03
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (484)
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  (585): View more from New York

  The uberlube is also flammable

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  (585): The uberlube is also flammable http://tfl.nu/uc5d
  Replies (4) Good night (343) Bad night (464)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them

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  (973): The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel (1-973): The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them http://tfl.nu/r07z
  Replies (1) Good night (741) Bad night (481)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!

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  (406): I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday! http://tfl.nu/wjc8
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (291)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm getting married

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  To pizza

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  (910): I'm getting married (910): To pizza http://tfl.nu/qtma
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (248)

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