i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
