Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Tell her she's as useless as a condom.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back

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(510): View more from California

im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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(905): View more from Ontario

the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.

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(317): View more from Indiana

We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies

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