hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
did you just send me my own nude
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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