I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
