My pussy is not your playground.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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