She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
