That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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