just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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