But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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