Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
