What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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