I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
