if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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