every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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