i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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