What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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