uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
