Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
