So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
