as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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