he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
