so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
