True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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