Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
