i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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