Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
