Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!