Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.