the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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