so that wasnt chicken after all
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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