just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
