It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize