I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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