Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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