I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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