dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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