Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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