3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
