i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize