Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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