i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
