I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
