did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
