you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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