So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm too high and old for this...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize