I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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