she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
