I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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