I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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