I'm drive I can fine osifer
People in love make me want to vomit
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Randomize
