I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
