she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
