Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
