we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
