Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
