He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
