I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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