Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
