My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
