Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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